Sunday, November 8, 2015

Must Wash Hands!

Recently, I had to wash my hands of a situation with a person that I had feelings for.  The idiom to "wash your hands" means to end an association with someone or something.  I felt like I was holding on to a fantasy of a relationship that was neither progressing nor going to happen.  I inquired with this man about the potential of our relationship growth and all I wanted was a yes or no response.  He couldn't give me that simple answer so I packed up my emotions and feelings and made my exit. 

Sunday, October 18, 2015

I Admit To Envy

I will admit that sometimes the green-eyed monster makes an appearance when I go on my Facebook news feed and see the cute couple selfies or that yet another one of friends is engaged or has gotten married.  For those that are unfamiliar with the term "green-eyed monster" I am referring to the feeling of envy.  Envy is defined as the resentment caused by another person having something that one does not have, but desires for oneself.  So, in other words - wanting what someone else has.

Sunday, September 27, 2015

No One Is Perfect...But Me

No, I don't think I am perfect, but catchy title, right?

No one is perfect we have heard that phrase over and over again, but do we actually accept it as fact?  Or when we say it, do we really mean no one is perfect...but me?  We, as human beings have a tendency to only recognize the flaws and faults in others, but not within ourselves.  Sometimes we have to turn the mirror on us. 

So, just for fun I have decided to list five of my flaws.  This isn't easy and now that I am thinking about it not all that fun, but I can't tell my readers to look inside themselves and evaluate their flaws when I'm not willing to do the same. 

I would like to also state that these flaws are not part of my character ALL THE TIME, but every now and then they can rise to the surface.
  1. Selfish
  2. Self-centered
  3. Shallow
  4. Politically Incorrect
  5. Expect more from others than I am willing to give
See, my list wasn't that bad, but then again I only listed five.  What would be on your list?  You can share it with me or not it is totally up to you.  Remember, no one is perfect, not even you.

Thanks for reading!
(John 3:16)

Sunday, September 13, 2015

Discouraged Not Hopeless

On this journey to love I get discouraged at times.  I feel sad, think love is not going to happen for me, get the sensation that I want to cry, but I don't actually cry, I fall asleep and when I wake up either in the middle of the night or morning I somehow feel better.  The discouragement has gone away and I forge ahead to a new day.

Feeling discouraged is fine and completely normal in my opinion.  It can become a problem when a person chooses to wallow in it because eventually that simple discouragement can transform into a feeling of hopelessness.  Like I always say, stay hopeful.

So, for my readers that are feeling a little discouraged and overall down on love I want to tell you that it's normal and it's all right to go through your little routine of feeling sad, but do not become so immersed in the sorrow that it is allowed to mutate into something more detrimental to your spirit.  Remember, everything happens in due time...even love.

Thanks for reading!
(John 3:16)

Sunday, September 6, 2015

Door Hinge and Heartbreak

One time when I was a child, one of my older brothers and I were playing with the bathroom door.  Just like a child I was being careless and the ring finger on my left hand got to close to the hinged side of the door and...BAM!  My finger got closed in the door.  To this day I still remember how the pain felt.  The door slamming on my finger did hurt, but it was the surprise of this unforeseen injury that made an impact on me.

Sunday, August 23, 2015

Online Dating: The End

When I started my trek into online dating in February of this year I was expecting so much more than what I got.  I was expecting to go on a plethora of dates not because I'm so good looking, but because that is the way the commercials make it seem.  On the commercials online dating looks so easy and effortless, but who really trust commercials anymore.  I thought that by the  time my subscriptions ended I would have found "the one" but nope I am still single.

Sunday, August 16, 2015

The Insecurity of Being Insecure

Everyone has insecurities whether they want to admit it or not.  People have insecurities for all types of reasons.  Sometimes its fear that they will lose the person they love or they are constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop and they are preparing themselves for an end that seems inevitable to them or they are carrying around unresolved issues from past relationships.  Whatever the reason insecurities are not good.

Sunday, August 9, 2015

Tenth Date Kiss

I met someone.  I randomly received a message from this guy on Match.com and I was simply intrigued by what he wrote on his profile page.  After about a day and a half of messaging one another on the dating site we decided to exchange numbers.  Our very first phone conversation wasn't awkward how most first phone conversations can be, but easy flowing and comfortable.  Two days after our initial talk we were on the phone at 5:00 am one Saturday morning and we talked for about an hour when he made the suggestion that we finally meet and get some breakfast.  I agreed and we met at IHOP for the first time.

Sunday, August 2, 2015

Want To Fight?

I would first like to say that when I use the word "fight" I do not mean in the literal sense of a physical fight.  Keep your hands to yourself gentlemen and ladies.  Now, arguments and disagreements are apart of relationships.  If a person is in a relationship and starts to notice that with their mate they are having more fights than fun then it may be time to make an exit.

Sunday, July 26, 2015

Stay Hopeful

I know that I have written in past post about staying hopeful when looking for love.  Hope can be easily lost especially when it seems that a person is hitting dead end after dead end.  I know that it is also easier said than done, but I really want to convey to my readers that are looking for love to stay hopeful that you will find it.

Sunday, July 12, 2015

The Question About Proposing

I was out on a Friday night with one of my good friends Fatima just looking to unwind from the work week.  We were standing at the bar talking and for no reason in particular I asked her if she would ever propose marriage to a man.  Without hesitation she replied, no.  I asked a few other women that were in my vicinity who I did not know the same question and they all replied with an emphatic no.  I asked them why not and the answer was simply, out of tradition.

Sunday, June 28, 2015

The Odd Thing I Miss About Being In A Relationship

A very good friend of mines named Fatima once asked me what I miss about being in a relationship.  Of course, I miss the person, the time we spent together and the memories, but after three years of being in a long distance relationship I was quite use to not seeing him when I wanted. The one thing I truly miss is having someone to think about.  That seems so odd, but when I was in a relationship and I was thinking about him there was an excellent chance that he was thinking about me as well.

Sunday, June 14, 2015

Unofficial Online Date

A man sent me a message on Match.com Friday evening and as I reviewed his profile I found him to be attractive.  His picture didn't immediately jog my memory, but after sending three or four messages to each other he finally stated his name and that's when it hit me that I had met this man before.

Sunday, May 31, 2015

Addressing Feedback on Interracial Dating Blog Post

I received a little feedback in regards to my last blog post which is what I expected to happen.  One person in particular who shall remain nameless had a very strong reaction to my newfound curiosity to want to date outside of my race.

Monday, May 25, 2015

Interracial Dating: I Am Curious

I have always been a little curious as to what it would be like to date outside my race.  It is not taboo or uncommon anymore, but I just never took the plunge and now I am seriously considering it.  Growing up I didn't interact with a lot of people that were of different races.  From elementary through high school the schools that I attended were predominately black and I graduated from a historically black university (SCSU, Go Bulldogs!). 

Saturday, May 16, 2015

Happily Ever After

When I was younger every well known fairy tale that I read ended with...and they lived happily ever after.  Then, as I got older and interested in movies I noticed the happily ever after theme became all too common.  I have often heard people scoff at the very idea of a couple actually living a "happily ever after" type life.  Why is the mere notion of a real happily ever after relationship such a foreign concept in today's society?  I think people have the wrong idea of what one is.

Saturday, May 9, 2015

Love: Feeling Or Choice?

When I was younger I thought loving someone was based on feelings, but now that I am older I believe that love is a choice.  I don't think it's a choice like I think I will have Chipotle today for lunch, but more so a subconscious act. 

Feelings are like water on the seashore, the tide comes in and goes back out again.  Unstable and fleeting.  If we, as people, only loved each other based on our feelings their would be less love in this world than it is already.  There are some instances when a person may experience choosing to love someone who may not choose to reciprocate that love.  That sucks.

Sunday, May 3, 2015

Patient, Prepare and Wait

Not that I have any current prospects, but when the day comes I would like to venture into another relationship again that hopefully this time will lead down the aisle to marriage.  I will admit that I have a little trepidation about the thought of entering into another relationship.  I am fearful of investing time and it not work out the way I want.  I guess everyone feels that way to a certain extent.  Most people enter relationships with an expectation and mines is marriage.

Saturday, April 25, 2015

Online Dating: The Follow Up

Sometime has passed since I last wrote the post titled Online Dating: Part I and I wanted to do a follow up to keep my readers in the loop.  Well, things are not going as expected, but I will take the blame for it.  A couple weeks after that entry was posted I created a profile on ChrstianMingle.com and I started to get a variety of matches batched together and e-mailed to me daily.  So far I have found online dating to be a lot more tedious than I expected. 

When I would go on the site and log in I would feel the pang of dread sweep over me as I attempted to sift through the multitude of profiles.  It has crossed my mind that perhaps online dating is not for me and I prefer the more conventional way of finding a mate such as when I'm out and about or through a friend of a friend.  For the sake of my readers and always wanting to keep my word I will continue on this trek to online dating.

Stay tuned.

Thanks for reading!
(John 3:16)

Saturday, March 28, 2015

Waiting For The Other Shoe

Some people have been hurt so badly in relationships both romantic and non-romantic throughout their lives that they are constantly in a state of waiting for the other shoe to drop.  This is an idiom that means to await a seemingly inevitable event.  A person may not enter into a relationship wanting  it to go bad, but they prepare themselves for what they feel will be a most certain end to a connection.  Subconsciously performing early preparation for such a time will make the pain almost bearable.

Saturday, March 7, 2015

Dinner For One: The Follow Up

A reader, that shall remain anonymous expressed to me that in my last post titled "Dinner For One" that I came across as being perhaps smug in my Valentine's Day experience. I stated in the post that I "took myself out" and made reference to having "options" that could have taken me out.  My reasoning for dining solo was that I wanted to have a new experience and break away from the tedious repetition that Valentine's Day brings.

Sunday, February 22, 2015

Dinner For One

Valentine's Day 2015 was my first Valentine's Day single in three years.  I was determined not to be bah hum-bug about it and make the most of the day.  I didn't have a designated valentine and honestly I didn't want one because I would have wanted to spend that day with someone special not just an option to fill a void.  I decided to get dressed up, smell good (of course) and take myself out.  Dinner for one.

Saturday, January 31, 2015

Online Dating: Part 1

We have all seen the commercials of the happy couples all cozy on a couch talking about how they met their "soul mate" or "the love of their life" on blahblahlove.com.  I cannot say whether dating websites are a sham or not because I actually know someone that used Match.com and later this year she will marry the man she met online. 

Tuesday, January 6, 2015

13 Things I Will Tell My Nephew and Nieces About Relationships and Love

I have a little nephew and three little nieces that will one day grow up and will start to have crushes, go on dates, have relationships, fall in love and unfortunately have break ups.  These are the things that I will tell them about relationships when they get older:
  1. Read 1 Corinthians 13:4
  2. Relationships are: great with great people, mediocre with mediocre people and bad with bad people, so choose wisely.
  3. Everyone makes mistakes, but don't be a fool.
  4. Second chances are sometimes necessary.
  5. Always forgive, but you don't have to forget.
  6. Don't obsess over people because there are plenty of fish in the sea.
  7. You cannot always follow your heart so use your brain.
  8. You will know when to call it quits.
  9. Break ups are a part of life.
  10. People cheat.
  11. At times it will seem that love has failed, but fight on.
  12. Love is wonderful.
  13. Never give up on love.
Thanks for reading!
(John 3:16)

Friday, January 2, 2015

No Awkward Moment

The day after Christmas I went to New York to see my ex-boyfriend. So, for those of you that may be new to my blog I will give a brief synopsis of my last relationship. My last relationship was long distance he lived in New York and I lived in DC. We were best friends for five years before we decided to become a couple. For three years we would visit each other quite frequently and now we are broken up. We broke up July 2014 and we hadn't seen each other since. We remained good friends though.