tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-75898009162298438332024-02-07T19:20:55.245-05:00Telling Of LoveRachel Jo.http://www.blogger.com/profile/05368383604148163441noreply@blogger.comBlogger101125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7589800916229843833.post-21116425163666539732021-02-21T12:00:00.002-05:002021-02-21T12:00:09.785-05:00Eureka!<p></p><p></p><p><span></span><span></span></p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1gF_FknhdHQfAPj5bop1o_MsG6j91c001W2EY7dhpXvjHMVuSamnz1QKez8_ldy7umSsvxftWigyBgGKM88t6t7GrT1fFfxtEvn6eorxCNXEeotQA_Vdi1ZhcNl1x4vQcLbTIi2tHI-U/s1080/7EB8305E-8C39-4C75-8DBF-02CDEDB835F2.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1gF_FknhdHQfAPj5bop1o_MsG6j91c001W2EY7dhpXvjHMVuSamnz1QKez8_ldy7umSsvxftWigyBgGKM88t6t7GrT1fFfxtEvn6eorxCNXEeotQA_Vdi1ZhcNl1x4vQcLbTIi2tHI-U/s320/7EB8305E-8C39-4C75-8DBF-02CDEDB835F2.png" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Created and designed by me!</div><span><a name='more'></a></span><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: courier; text-align: left;"><br /><div style="text-align: left;">Ever since I got married (four years in September) I had a hard time creating new content for this blog. Prior to marriage this blog was from my perspective as a single woman wanting love, looking for love and ultimately finding love. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">However, after I got married I didn't know how to approach this blog. I still wanted to appeal to the single ladies, while also gaining a new audience of married women. Balancing the two came as a difficulty to me amounting to pretty much a nonexistent blog. </div></span></div><p><span style="font-family: courier;">Then, a couple months ago I started thinking about what I could do with this blog as well as thinking about conversations that I have had with my husband. Specifically the ones involving the thoughts of men. He has given me a deeper insight into the inner workings of men. He has shared with me the type of information that I wish I had known when I was younger. Stuff that if I had only known back then my time would not have been wasted and hurt feelings could have been avoided.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: courier;"><b>Eureka!</b> </span></p><p><span style="font-family: courier;">It hit me. Going forward I want to help other women (single and married) avoid the same pitfalls as me when it come to men, love and life. Some of the topics may be difficult to tackle and I guarantee that if it is hard for you to read it, then it was most likely hard for me to write it.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: courier;">I will also throw in other aspects about my life.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: courier;">I'm excited about this new year, new chapter of my blog, and I hope this blog changes the world, but if I only reach one person I will be happy.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: courier;">Stay safe. Mask up.</span></p><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: courier;">Thanks for reading!<br />(John 3:16)</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div>Rachel Jo.http://www.blogger.com/profile/05368383604148163441noreply@blogger.com0United States37.09024 -95.7128919.197903243519324 -130.869141 64.982576756480682 -60.556641tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7589800916229843833.post-24769586227486103112019-11-17T13:37:00.000-05:002019-11-17T13:37:01.494-05:00Something About Purpose<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-size: xx-small;">Photo Credit: Unsplash.com - Autumn Goodman</span></div>
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<span black="" courier="" monospace="" new="" quot="" style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">I hate that we have to keep meeting like this. My inconsistent, on again, off again relationship with writing shining through like Rudolph's nose in fog. I long to do better and be the dynamic writer that I know I am, but I have been feeling a lack of motivation, laziness and sense of unimportance with my writing. I play volleyball in my mind whether to give up on writing or push through my discouragement. I always end up right back here though and even when I'm not physically writing it's on my mind. I don't know if this is me fighting fate or just a toxic relationship.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">For the past year I have been thinking about purpose. I wonder what my purpose is as a wife, mother, at my job and life in general. I pray for God to reveal this to me and I hope to stay out of my own way.</span><br />
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What do I mean?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><span style="display: inline; float: none; font-size: 16px; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"></span><i></i><u></u><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"></span><br /></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span>
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<span style="display: inline; float: none; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">God will sometimes send a clear message and directions, but because it doesn't come dressed the way we have cultivated in our minds we dismiss it. I hope to avoid this. I hope to be blessed with</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><span style="display: inline; float: none; font-size: 16px; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"> t</span><span style="display: inline; float: none; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">hat one thing or many things that will have me moving in the right direction.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><span style="display: inline; float: none; font-size: 16px; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"> </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
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<span black="" courier="" monospace="" new="" quot="" style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">The only purpose that use to be clear to me is why I started this blog. I was obsessed with the idea of love, relationships and marriage. I wanted to share my thoughts, experiences and occasional experiments with other people that may or may not have felt the same as me. Now that I have these things I question and doubt even my purpose for this blog now. I wonder what direction I can go in, if any direction at all. Of course, the mind so easily sets the negative thoughts on repeat while I have to muster up positive thinking.</span><br />
<span style="color: black;"></span><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"></span><span style="color: black;"></span><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"></span><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"></span><i></i><u></u><u></u><i></i><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"></span><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"></span><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"></span><br />
<span black="" courier="" monospace="" new="" quot="" style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">However, here I am attempting another jump start. I don't know where I am going with this blog, my writing or my purpose in life, but I just would like to THANK EVERYONE THAT TAKES THE TIME TO READ THIS BLOG AND LEAVE COMMENTS.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"></span><span style="color: black;"></span><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"></span><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"></span><i></i><u></u><u></u><i></i><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"></span><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"></span><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"></span><br />
<span black="" courier="" monospace="" new="" quot="" style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Come along with me.</span><br />
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<span black="" courier="" monospace="" new="" quot="" style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Thanks for reading!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><span style="color: black;">(John 3:16</span>)</span>
Rachel Jo.http://www.blogger.com/profile/05368383604148163441noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7589800916229843833.post-79469619997744324672019-08-18T10:41:00.000-04:002019-11-07T01:37:32.543-05:00Holding Hands...Meh! Not A Big Deal<h2 class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhN-Ql1c8VFcRzGXVsqM36RaVDBfBDV71qbnG80P4tRiPYx1D-wUMp-q0fCe7y0fyz6cDkyKTXh-KDRCYigXu-X4Iwc4_eqeku0-KlVMpBcXCHaJkWh8ared6ERjOyR4vYzhqhIjO5Poog/s1600/adults-blur-couple-888899.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1067" data-original-width="1600" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhN-Ql1c8VFcRzGXVsqM36RaVDBfBDV71qbnG80P4tRiPYx1D-wUMp-q0fCe7y0fyz6cDkyKTXh-KDRCYigXu-X4Iwc4_eqeku0-KlVMpBcXCHaJkWh8ared6ERjOyR4vYzhqhIjO5Poog/s320/adults-blur-couple-888899.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<a name='more'></a><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">A few months ago my husband and I were walking home and I noticed the couple in front of us holding hands. That's when I realized my husband and I were not. I made a comment to him about it in jest, but it got me thinking about all the mornings we walked to the Metro together or the rare times we went out and we didn't hold hands. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Surprisingly this doesn't bother me. We don't purposefully say that we aren't going to hold hands. We just start walking and talking and it doesn't cross our minds to reach out for one another.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">When I was dating or in relationships it was pretty much a deal breaker if a man didn't want to hold hands or show public affection. I think those types of gestures were so important to me because it outwardly showed that someone wanted to be with me. That I was part of a "couple". </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Before my husband and I were married and in our courting phase we would hold hands everywhere, but now I don't feel so compelled to do this. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">There's just something about getting married and having a baby together that makes me go <b>hmmm...not holding hands is okay</b>. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">At the end of the day <span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">I still know he's mine and he knows I'm his. I don't need to show the world that we are together by holding hands. We have rings on our fingers. I don't have to prove that I to am loved now. I simply just enjoy being loved.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Thanks for reading!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">(John 3:16)</span>Rachel Jo.http://www.blogger.com/profile/05368383604148163441noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7589800916229843833.post-59890815709302004972018-05-27T14:00:00.000-04:002018-05-27T14:00:10.610-04:00C-Section Scar<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">I was originally due to give birth on March 17, 2018. However, after one of my regular scheduled doctor appointments on February 20th I was showing signs of pre-eclampsia so I would have to be induced early to ensure I didn't develop any health problems. Before leaving the doctor's office I was told that I would be induced on February 26th, but the next day I received a phone call from the doctor that my induction date was moved up to February 24th which was that coming Saturday. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">I immediately felt overwhelmed. Not only would I have a short amount of time to tie up loose ends at work before going out on maternity leave, but I had to also make sure everything was prepared at home for my daughter's arrival.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Ready or not, mostly ready, that <span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; display: inline; float: none; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">Saturday with my husband and mother in tow</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; display: inline; float: none; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"> </span>I arrived at the hospital at 6:30 in the morning. I filled out all the necessary paperwork and soon after a nurse escorted me to what would be my private delivery room equipped with my own bathroom and television. Quite frankly the room was huge. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Lying there in bed I hoped that my daughter would arrive that day, but as the day ticked by it became apparent that her entrance would be delayed.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Between the time of checking into my delivery room and the actual birth of my daughter I was poked, prodded and <span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; display: inline; float: none; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">seen by the hospital medical staff which consisted of several doctors, nurses and residents</span>. I remember the first time I got out of bed to go to the bathroom I tried to be modest and close my gown in the back to avoid flashing the nurse that was in my room. However, by the end of the first day when I had to go to the bathroom again I made no attempt to close my gown. I just got up and went (with aide from my husband).</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Between late Saturday night and early Sunday morning there was a balloon catheter inserted to help me dilate because my body was not doing so on its own. This was an extremely unpleasant experience both the going in and being pulled out. However, this was after the doctor had to break my water which was also unpleasant.</span><br />
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Throughout my pregnancy I declared that I wanted to give birth naturally without the use of drugs because I wanted to experience what childbirth was really like. However, by that Monday morning when the contractions started to intensify I looked at the nurse with desperation in my eyes and a beg in my voice for an epidural.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Just so you know, my epidural took (for some women this doesn't happen) and it felt amazing.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">By early Monday still not dilating the way I should have it was discovered that the baby's heart rate was fluctuating up and down. This had been happening throughout the night and day. By Monday afternoon a doctor came to my room, sat on my bed and gave me the news that they would have to perform an emergency Cesarean section (C-section) to ensure that the baby would survive because I wouldn't be able to deliver vaginally. I tried to put my brave face on, but it didn't hold up because tears started to fall from my eyes. I was scared.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">It is impossible to convey my discomfort and how scary my experience was in the hospital. My mom told me that I would forget all about everything I went through. Honestly all these months later I still remember it all. However, <span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; display: inline; float: none; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">I look forward to the day when my daughter gets older and I can share this story with her and show her my C-Section scar. I</span>f I had to go through it all over again I would for her. The only thing I would change is I would have gotten the epidural sooner. 😜</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Thanks for reading!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">(John 3:16)</span><br />
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*** A SPECIAL <u><b>THANK YOU</b></u> TO THE NURSES, DOCTORS AND MEDICAL STAFF AT THE GEORGE WASHINGTON UNIVERSITY HOSPITAL. AMAZING PEOPLE.<br />
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<br />Rachel Jo.http://www.blogger.com/profile/05368383604148163441noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7589800916229843833.post-54872060273689978422018-02-20T20:06:00.000-05:002018-02-28T08:55:24.521-05:00The Little Things For Granted<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-WGq6MF3lkvIbXAhzHPs4ZGFOAo7o6uoIQOLD9kQIQ6eEk_HO5iHAZ1sFGlpzxtGRVoxV9jtZ81TR-INtXBAUTWPNua6JHY_Eb_Qn4V7y1mwhuOrcqZp9FRsWC2Rp0IEaU3zcH_72qZc/s1600/IMG_E2636%255B1%255D.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-WGq6MF3lkvIbXAhzHPs4ZGFOAo7o6uoIQOLD9kQIQ6eEk_HO5iHAZ1sFGlpzxtGRVoxV9jtZ81TR-INtXBAUTWPNua6JHY_Eb_Qn4V7y1mwhuOrcqZp9FRsWC2Rp0IEaU3zcH_72qZc/s320/IMG_E2636%255B1%255D.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">There is no secret that a woman's body undergoes many changes while pregnant. I use to think that pregnancy looked so uncomfortable, but each woman experiences pregnancy differently some will say that they loved being pregnant while others may not feel the same way. <span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; display: inline; float: none; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; display: inline; float: none; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">So, for this post I am strictly writing from my perspective and it should not be attributed to all women. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">I have found pregnancy to be uncomfortable at times, but also a unique experience. If I sit too long my back starts to hurt or if I stand too long my back starts to hurt. Then in the beginning there was the nausea that never seem to go away and had me in fear that even a yawn would have me regurgitating. This was followed by actual morning sickness that didn't necessarily happen in the morning or everyday. My hands and feet have begun to show signs of swelling which is just another common part of pregnancy.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Now in my eighth month my belly is so protruded out it makes the simplest of task difficult. Effortless everyday routines that I use to perform without thinking suddenly have become a methodically planned out strategy to try to accomplish. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Here are a few examples:</span><br />
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<b><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Putting on socks and shoes</span></b><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">I use to sit on my bed and bend over to put on my socks and tie up my shoes and never thought twice about the process. Now I find myself contorting my lower limbs to put on my socks then usually with a tiny rest break I will attempt to put on my shoes. Now, if I can just slip my feet in the shoes then for the most part no problem. However, tying my shoes is the difficult part and if the pants I'm wearing are not very giving that is just another roadblock, but thankfully I have managed to get it done.</span><br />
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<b><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Rolling Over</span></b><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Laying down to go to sleep can be a challenge for anyone because one must find a comfortable position. With a pregnant belly I have had to maneuver ever so slightly to gingerly turn to find a relaxing spot. There have been some nights when I became so frustrated that I have sat on my bed and declared in my head that no sleep will be had that night. Not to mention that my baby seems to be a night owl so she is kicking inside me. Nonetheless I usually lay down some way and after a while fall asleep.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">I have to grip the side of the bed for dear life and propel myself upward. It feels like such a laborious task. Sometimes I have to use my husband as leverage to hoist myself up. This is commonplace when you are carrying a whole other person inside of you.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">These days it has come down to what fits and what's comfortable. As far as for work attire clothing is becoming scarce, but for running errands or out with my husband sweatpants and a sweatshirt has become my normal go-to attire. I look forward to fitting back into my old clothes.</span><br />
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<b><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Undressing</span></b><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">There was a time when I would come in the house from work or just being out and would change into my lay around clothes within a minute of having come home. Now as a pregnant woman everything requires at least a ten second break in between or if I'm really feeling tired that day I will hurriedly take off my work clothes and put on my house clothes. Then lay on the bed until I feel re-energized to continue with my evening.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">I know that my examples may have made pregnancy sound pretty grim, but honestly a person just has to go with the flow. Plus if pregnancy was that bad women wouldn't be out here having three and four and five plus kids. It would be a one and done situation. I am looking forward to my pregnancy journey to be over and it will be sooner than I expected.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Thanks for reading!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">(John 3:16)</span>Rachel Jo.http://www.blogger.com/profile/05368383604148163441noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7589800916229843833.post-58044096840706228682018-01-28T18:22:00.000-05:002018-01-28T18:37:51.017-05:00Goodbye Dreams. Hello Reality.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Photo Credit
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<b><span style="color: #555555; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.5pt; line-height: 107%;">The Female Quixote Studio | </span></b></span><a href="http://www.tfqstudio.com/" target="_blank"><b><span style="color: blue; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.5pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">www.TFQstudio.com</span></span></b></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">When I was a teenager I was one hundred percent sure that I wanted children one day when I got married. At that time I was hardly ever around children and I didn't understand the depths of taking care of kids until I became an adult and my brothers got married and started their own families. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">I slightly experienced changing diapers, testing milk bottles, coddling babies to sleep and watched as they cried and screamed at the top of their lungs. These interactions caused me to often teeter back and forward as to whether I wanted children. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">By the time I met my husband I was ninety to ninety-five percent sure that I did not want children. I would tell people that I wanted to get married and they mistook that as me meaning that I wanted children too. I would reply that they could keep the kid, I just want a husband. This may have been a harsh statement, but a truthful one.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">In a couple months I will have a baby girl. The moment I found out I was pregnant was the day I knew I could no longer be a dreamer. I knew that the life I had always pictured having in my mind, the better life I eventually had planned for myself was over. I aspired to have the kind of life that without a moments notice I packed a bag and flew off to wherever. You can't do that with a child. I wanted a life where if one day I got so fed up with my job I could quit, but you can't do that when you have a child either. The obvious reason being that a steady guaranteed income and medical benefits are needed. Yes my husband works, but two incomes are better than one. Yep, I felt like life was pretty much over because I could no longer live for myself, but would have to be the provider for a child. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">Those were my initial thoughts when I first found out I would be having a child, but now that my due date is nearing I see things differently. I realize that my dreams don't have to die just become modified a bit. I can't up and quit my job, but I can spend more time looking for another one or better yet finding a way to transition into full-time entrepreneurship. Even with traveling, of course, I will have to wait until she is a little older, but I can still have the spontaneous getaways even if it is just a short family weekend trip.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">It is possible to have it all, but I will just have space things out and realize that it will not occur all at once. The other night I was making a list of all the things my husband and I will need to get for the baby and for the first time in months I felt excited about the bundle of joy growing inside of me. I may need to sculpt my dreams a little more methodically nowadays, but it doesn't mean that I have to stop dreaming entirely.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">Thanks for reading!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">(John 3:16)</span></div>
Rachel Jo.http://www.blogger.com/profile/05368383604148163441noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7589800916229843833.post-62249916940499901932018-01-07T17:06:00.000-05:002018-01-07T17:06:00.011-05:00The Word That Changed My Marriage Before It Began<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">I got married on September 29, 2017 in Las Vegas, Nevada. No family or friends just my now husband and I. We did not elope spur of the moment like many people have asked me, but we actually planned everything out. Like most couples him and I have a tendency to argue. Sometimes our arguments are mild and sometimes they can get really heated. As the date approached for us to catch our flight to Vegas I was determined that our entire wedding weekend would be an argument free zone.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">Well, it would be nice if I could write that I succeeded in this, but nope I didn't. Within minutes of checking into the hotel we had a dispute and even the night before our wedding we had a small falling out. With complete transparency I tell you I started to have some doubts as to whether I wanted to get married. However, on the day we were scheduled to wed we woke up to the hot Nevada sun, cool attitudes and all was well with us. We were not scheduled to be wed until 5:00 that evening and even experienced a hiccup with that. Not us arguing, but just a snafu with the chapel.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">Once the kinks were all worked out we were standing before the minister facing one another and hands locked together. Before having us recite our vows the minister spoke to us for a few minutes about Jesus and marriage. In regards to our relationship the minister told us that we start over fresh right now. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">When I heard that word the argument from the night before and all our other spats ceased to matter. The negative stuff just flowed right out of my body. Fresh is the word that changed my marriage before it even began. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">It was as if in that moment I was choosing to become the type of wife and woman that I have always wanted to be. I didn't want to be a tyrant of a wife dictating instructions to my husband, but instead be the type of wife that would be a joy to her husband and nothing less.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">So, now that we are married does it mean that my husband and I never have disagreements anymore? No, but it does mean that we are working toward making each other happy, keeping the vows that we made before God and keeping Christ in the center of our marriage daily. I'm not going to lie some days I do want to throw in the towel, but this isn't a boyfriend/girlfriend situation anymore that we can just wash our hands of when things don't go our way. This is a marriage and difficulties are going to arise and we must learn to maneuver them together. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">I know that we are still newlyweds and in the stage most people would call the "honeymoon phase" but I can honestly say that I have never experienced love in this way before. Marriage is looking quite positive for my husband and I even with the bumps in the road that we experience.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">On Sundays at my church the pastor will ask if there are any wedding anniversaries being celebrated either on that day or for the coming week. There have been couples in my church celebrating 20, 30, 40, 50 and even 60 plus years of marriage. That is a long time to be with someone and I am certain that in those years many situations have occurred but those couples chose to stay together and face the tribulations together.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">My husband and I have a long road to walk to get anywhere near 50 years of marriage, but as long as we are willing to walk it together holding hands while drawing near to Christ it can be done.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">Thanks for reading!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">(John 3:16)</span>Rachel Jo.http://www.blogger.com/profile/05368383604148163441noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7589800916229843833.post-19732599773222898322017-12-31T14:03:00.000-05:002017-12-31T14:14:07.794-05:00Looking Back. Facing Forward.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">I cannot let 2017 end without writing about how much God changed my life this year. I went through ups, downs, self doubt and self re-evaluation. This year I found myself often questioning everything that I ever thought I wanted. I even had to be brave and journey into the unknown.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">The unknown that I speak of is marriage. On September 29th I got married in Las Vegas, Nevada. The idea to get married was such a hasty decision considering that my husband and I had only known each other a few months, but I do not regret my decision to exchange vows with him. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">For years I have always wanted to get married I have written about it constantly and when I wasn't writing about it I was thinking about it, but it never occurred to me that it would happen as quickly as it did. We didn't really have an "engagement" period just an understanding that we would get married. I always thought I would have a little time to transition into the idea of becoming a wife, but sometimes what we have planned just doesn't pan out. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">In 2017, I can truly say that I have come a long way in my personal growth and relationship (that's another blog post). I think about the goals that I wrote for myself at the beginning of the year. Only a couple were accomplished while others just plain fell to the wayside and some will rollover into 2018.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Facing forward I am going to step into the new year with three expectations and main goals in mind which are to continue to work on my relationship with Jesus Christ which will in turn allow me to be a great wife and mother (yeah, I'm expecting). There are some other goals that I hope to achieve in the new year, but those three are of the utmost importance to me.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Seeing how unpredictable 2017 was I am waiting on what lies ahead in 2018. I am nervous, excited, hesitate, but whether I am ready or not forward is the direction.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">See you in 2018.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Thanks for reading!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">(John 3:16)</span><br />
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<br />Rachel Jo.http://www.blogger.com/profile/05368383604148163441noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7589800916229843833.post-79280903523671247682017-10-02T15:18:00.000-04:002017-12-15T21:35:23.525-05:00Relighting The Fire<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Being a writer was something that I proudly would proclaim to anyone that would ask, but a few months ago it started to become something I barely could say in a moderate tone. Or if by chance someone else mentioned that I write I was more inclined to shy away from the association rather than lift my face with a beaming smile. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Over the past few months my life has been moving so fast. I had expectations and goals for 2017, but I had no idea things would come to me the way that they have. This is good and bad. At one point through those months I started to feel down and seriously considered giving up on every dream I ever had and settle into a normal, mediocre life where without thinking I move along clocking in to work at 8:00 am and clocking out at 4:30 pm. I was ready to stop fighting against the raging current of the normalcy of society and no longer be different and just fall in line like everyone else.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">It was while I was in this doom and gloom and angry state that I realized how intertwined my life and my writing are. I wanted to give up in my life so therefore writing fell to the wayside. Weeks passed and eventually months passed and I couldn't bring myself to write anything and in all honesty sometimes I couldn't even bring myself to look at my blog. Looking at it was a reminder of when I was full of hope and at that time in my life I didn't want to be reminded of that.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">God blessed me with a wonderful man who is so well read and intelligent who told me that sometimes the fire for a dream goes out and we must be the one to light that fire again. <em>Or something like that</em>. Either way without him knowing that really resonated with me. So, here I am writing again and hopefully with everyday that passes I can reclaim my pride for writing and that my fire returns with not just a small spark, but with a blaze that the world will see.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Thanks for reading!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">(John 3:16)</span>Rachel Jo.http://www.blogger.com/profile/05368383604148163441noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7589800916229843833.post-13676273259022386792017-06-25T13:56:00.000-04:002017-11-10T11:46:06.249-05:00Chapter Four<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">I was beginning to feel like a failure with each Sunday that passed and no new content to post. I would sit down to write and the words just were not coming to me. Even though I was feeling defeated I respect my readers too much to put out material that I know is weak and crappy just for the sake of being "consistent". So, needless to say this hiatus was unexpected and unplanned.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">As the weeks passed I started to search as to why I couldn't find the words and all the while my zeal for writing started to fade. I started to doubt myself and my talent. It was in this brief absence that I discovered that I was being ungrateful. More so ungrateful when it came to my relationship than with writing.</span><br />
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<strong><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Ungrateful - not feeling or showing gratitude.</span></strong><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">I was being ungrateful to God. In the short years that I was single all I did was whine, complain and pray fervently for a relationship and love, then God sent that to me. He sent me not just a man, but a good man and I still grumbled. I complained because he didn't arrive in the manner that I had constructed in my mind, he didn't come in the packaging that I had meticulously pieced together and he didn't have the things that I fantasized about my future mate having.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">However, God closed the door to the fantasy reel I had running in my mind and opened a window to reality. The areas that I thought were so essential to a mate God dissolved and showed me something different. God didn't send the man that I wanted, but the man he knew would treat me the way I needed. He sent me a man that doesn't have everything in the world, but he is different than any man that I have ever dated, been in a relationship with and dealt with period. God sent me in a sense what I had been praying for just not in the wrapping that I was expecting.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">I prayed for a man that is smart and my boyfriend actually exceeds the definition of smart, I wanted a man that is a follower of Jesus Christ and he is although we have differing views on some religious topics, a man that would love me and he does and a man that wants to get married. My man definitely wants to get married so much so that if I told him to meet me at the courthouse tomorrow at noon to get married he would be there at 11:30 am waiting for me. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Even just writing that makes me smile.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">So, I guess the question now is am I still ungrateful? The answer is no. I have slowly started embracing the change and hurdling the obstacles that relationships can bring. Even though my boyfriend and I had only known each other for a couple months before we decided to make things official we are, very much so, still two strangers getting to know one another within a comfortable relationship. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Time is our ally and not an enemy and only time will tell where our relationship goes. No he is not my knight in shining armor coming to save me or my prince charming because a queen doesn't deal with a knight or prince but only a king. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Thanks for reading!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">(John 3:16)</span>Rachel Jo.http://www.blogger.com/profile/05368383604148163441noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7589800916229843833.post-38806772312253613632017-04-02T16:03:00.000-04:002017-11-10T11:43:50.377-05:00Chapter Three<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">One night my man and I were out at the movies and during the previews he made a comment that I did not like and I was a little peeved with him. A few minutes passed and I decided that his comment was not that big of a deal that I should allow it to ruin our night by fighting. So, I tugged on his arm gently and nudged him playfully to indicate that I wasn't mad anymore.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">We probably have all heard the phrase "pick and choose your battles". Well, that was one of those times. Arguments and disagreements are going to occasionally occur in relationships and I think it is normal to a certain degree. In the short time my man and I have been getting to know one another and become a couple we have had quite a few disagreements to put it mildly. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Before we became an official couple we had a few phone conversations that ended with statements like "don't call or text me anymore" due to a heated discussion. However, something I noticed about him and us, that was different from my other experiences with men is that him and I would always come back together after having a slight falling-out. A day wouldn't go by before we were communicating with one another to smooth everything out. Sometimes it would take longer than a day for things to be fixed, but you get the idea. We would resolve the matter that had us quarrelling in the first place and apologize for our being wrong, if the situation called for that.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Often times when people have disagreements there comes a point when one or both persons feels as if the message they are trying to convey is not being received properly by the other person. This can lead to emotions entering the spat (if not already there) and can take things from wanting to convey a message to simply just trying to win the argument. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">My boyfriend is twelve years older than me and we both have had different life experiences that have shaped and cultivated our opinions, perceptions, beliefs, etc.. Sometimes we see things differently and internalize information differently as well. We have different temperament levels (I go zero to one hundred real quick and he is more reserved) and although there is a lot that him and I have in common there are a few things that could cause trouble in paradise.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Most people view fighting within a relationship as a negative and it can be if a couple literally argues all the time about everything and there are feelings of animosity towards one another. An argument or disagreement here and there is going to happen and if you think not then perhaps you have a different perception of what an argument or disagreement is. I believe, that if a couple doesn't argue at all that something is wrong and one person is kowtowing to the will of the other partner. Who wants that? Certainly not me, unless, of course, I can be the person to dole out orders and my boyfriend has to follow without question or feedback. Just kidding! Admittedly, that may seem nice at first, but after a while it would start to get dull.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Arguments with my boyfriend are unpleasant while in the thick of it all, but once time has passed and the emotions dissipate him and I are able to speak rationally and resolve our matters. It may seem strange, but after we reconcile I feel like we grow closer and we get to know more about each other. This among other things will cause our relationship to flourish. We both may learn to structure a statement differently, we learn each others likes and dislikes, we learn how each other feels in general and what we can handle about each other or what could potentially be a deal breaker.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Of course, the longer that him and I are together we should have arguments (hopefully) less and less, but nonetheless we will probably always have disagreements because again, we are two human beings with different opinions and mindsets. As long as we continue to respect, love and come back to one another there will always be not just me, but we.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new";">Stay tuned for Chapter Four.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Thank for reading!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">(John 3:16)</span><br />
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<br />Rachel Jo.http://www.blogger.com/profile/05368383604148163441noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7589800916229843833.post-20729893624634706012017-03-26T15:50:00.000-04:002017-11-10T11:00:26.584-05:00Chapter Two<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">A wonderful and intelligent man thought that I was just too precious to get away so he made our relationship official. The interesting thing is in the almost three year time frame of my singleness I had developed certain habits unbeknownst to me and once discovered I couldn't continue them, being one half of a couple. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">In this chapter I am going to write about one habit in particular. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">About a month ago, a woman that I know was having a gathering to celebrate her birthday at a local lounge. Since the establishment was not far from my house I decided to walk and my new man would just drive and meet me there. Part of the reason for this decision was because parking can be a real nuisance in that part of the city and I didn't want to run the risk of being late. At that time my man and I had only been official for two days.</span> <br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">I was the first to arrive ahead of everyone and after walking into the dimly lit and noisy barroom I checked my phone for new messages and e-mails and then I did something so instinctive and unintentional. I did </span><i><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">the look around</span></i><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">You know, giving the room a quick scan to spot attractive people. When I was single I would walk in a bar, new job, local coffee shop, church, grocery store etc. and look around to see if there were any attractive men. I don't want to make an assumption or make a definite statement and say that everyone participates in doing the look around, but I am not the only one. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">At that moment, standing in that lounge in mid glance a buzzer went off in my head and I told myself, </span><i><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Rachel you have a boyfriend now</span></i><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">! That's when it occurred to me that I still had a singles habit and it had to go...immediately. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Somehow days later my man and I were conversing and the topic of looking at other people came up. I felt relieved because he caught himself somewhat doing the same thing I did at the lounge and we talked about it. We also laughed about it as well. I wasn't trying to be disloyal or disrespectful to my man or our relationship, but because the relationship was still fresh and I had no real understanding that this habit even existed I couldn't correct it beforehand. When you know better, you do better so the both of us have changed this about ourselves.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">My man isn't overbearing or controlling or tells me the type of friends I should not have nor do I require of him to sever ties with any of his friendships even if they do happen to be with a female. However, what I do require of him, myself and for the sake of our relationship is to act accordingly and be respectful of one another. What I mean by act accordingly is neither one of us can continue to operate as if we are still single because we are not. We must change our mindset because it is no longer just our own personal feelings and emotions to take into account, but each others.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Starting a new relationship can also mean that certain freedoms become extinct which includes changing habits and maybe even detaching from certain people for the well-being of the relationship. These are the things that make relationships not only stronger, but successful. Although I had a brief blunder my man and I are over that. We are communicating openly and honestly and developing not just a romantic relationship but a friendship as well. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Stay tuned for Chapter 3...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Thanks for reading!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">(John 3:16)</span><br />
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<br />Rachel Jo.http://www.blogger.com/profile/05368383604148163441noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7589800916229843833.post-70211397910891091932017-03-19T14:27:00.000-04:002017-11-10T10:57:14.191-05:00Chapter One<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">You all may have noticed that I haven't posted in a few weeks. Well, there is something that only a few people know and I am excited to finally announce it to the world. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">I have a boyfriend!!!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">No, that is not a metaphor for something else, I actually have a real live man and we have officially been together for one month now. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">We met one random night back in December 2016 and at the time, I thought our encounter was just good random conversation between strangers. When I gave him my business card and told him to check out my blog I anticipated not hearing from him or seeing him ever again. To my surprise a few days later he sent me an e-mail with his phone number. I guess I should mention that my business cards don't have my phone number on them, just my e-mail address. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">The first thing I noticed about him is he preferred to talk on the phone opposed to texting. Our phone conversations were so organic and easygoing and not awkward or forced. Near the end of our first phone conversation he made a statement that baffled me, but was also humorous. He said, "I hope my intelligence doesn't overwhelm you" I paused because I was perplexed that a person would say such a thing to me, but I simply shot back "I hope my intelligence doesn't overwhelm you." We laughed.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">I know that remark was arrogant and he does come across at times as arrogant, but he is also confident, sweet, loyal, extremely intelligent, honest, a good listener and overall ambitious. We have so much in common and we think in such a similar manner more often than not.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">It feels good to be in a relationship again. However, it is not just the relationship itself, but the person that I am in the relationship with. During the course of being single for almost three years I had my share of moments when I wanted to give up on love or thought that no other man would come along that could be my best friend. I never gave up hope though and it has happened. I can fully be myself around him and tell him everything and the same goes for him with me.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">This new relationship doesn't only just feel good, but it feels adult and mature. We have conversations about our future together and not just focused on presently being boyfriend and girlfriend. We talk about marriage and buying a house and even having children together. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">With my excitement of starting a new relationship, I also have some fear and the dreaded </span><i><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">what ifs </span></i><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">fill my mind. </span><i><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"> What if</span></i><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"> things don't work out? </span><i><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">What if</span></i><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"> I end up single again? </span><i><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">What if </span></i><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">he is not the man I think he is? </span><i><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">What if</span></i><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"> I'm not ready for a relationship because I have been single for a long time? The list could go on and on. I know it seems like I am jumping the gun because him and I have only been together a month, but I am going to choose to be happy because sadness will always have its day.</span> <br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5u7v8-VBj98xktlQJaBeliKisjhGirWnPhBJPOBNAU93lkY1WJldANvQnJqfMMSo8nIiRxNi9tPQC46i4Sipr0fw957io4ccchCM10e92Xn18JtqF6PINSSsN4tYqO68lOCz6erXG6jg/s1600/Chap+1+Pic.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5u7v8-VBj98xktlQJaBeliKisjhGirWnPhBJPOBNAU93lkY1WJldANvQnJqfMMSo8nIiRxNi9tPQC46i4Sipr0fw957io4ccchCM10e92Xn18JtqF6PINSSsN4tYqO68lOCz6erXG6jg/s320/Chap+1+Pic.png" width="260" /></a><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Admittedly at first the relationship was moving fast, but it was more so him than me. However, after him and I had multiple conversations and really communicated both our sides he started to scale things back a bit. He made me more comfortable and our courtship progressed. Yes, he was courting me. I may explain in a later post the difference in dating and courting. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Regardless, he did what most men I had previously been in relationships with, dated, etc. had never done. He constantly and consistently proved to me that he is a viable candidate to not only be in a relationship with, but have a future with.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">This new juncture of my life makes me happy, frustrated (at times), excited, loved (yes, the L word) and so much more. Even though I prayed for a relationship and even had it listed as one of my goals for 2017 it was still unexpected. Like I mentioned before I feel afraid, but I must push through the fear because I want this relationship to reach its fullest potential. A relationship takes two people in order to make it successful. So, it is no longer me, but we.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Stay tuned for Chapter 2.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">***I would like to thank all of my readers for continuing to support and encourage me. By just clicking on a post you are helping in a great way.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">So, as always...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Thanks for reading!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">(John 3:16)</span>Rachel Jo.http://www.blogger.com/profile/05368383604148163441noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7589800916229843833.post-52402278455946908772017-02-13T18:13:00.001-05:002017-11-10T10:55:49.509-05:00Commentary About A YouTube Video<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">A few days ago I watched a video on YouTube of an old episode of Divorce Court that aired a few years ago. The couple was married for five years and were getting a divorce. I normally don't watch divorce shows because I do not believe in divorce, at least not in the casual way it is treated today. Anyway, when the judge asked the wife her reason for wanting a divorce, the woman replied that her husband was "too nice." The judge and the audience were baffled. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">The "complaints" this woman had about her husband to a normal person sounded ridiculous. She stated that he would tell her he loved her at least twice a week and that he caused her to gain weight because he would cook full course meals for her not just during normal meal hours, but at 2:00 in the morning if she were hungry. The more this woman spoke the more appalled everyone in the courtroom became.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">In my opinion that woman severely undervalued her husband. I'm not going to call her ungrateful because the rest of the world has done that already, but instead I feel empathy for her. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Not just that woman, or women or only men, but some people in general unfortunately become accustom to negative behavior and mistreatment within relationships. So much so that when someone good comes along that doesn't treat them in an ill-manner they will retreat rather than embrace the positive that has come into their life. People like this fail to realize that the people they are dismissing are the exceptions rather than the rule. Not that the rule of love is to treat someone poorly, but you all get where I'm going, right? </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">The way the husband was treating his wife was not something every woman or person within a marriage or relationship period gets to experience. Some people are not told twice a week that they are loved or even shown love within a relationship. They have the misfortune of having to wonder whether their spouse or significant other still loves them or will love them. For some women the only meal they eat at home is the one they cook themselves and certainly no one is getting out of bed in the middle of the night to cook a full course meal or anything to eat for that matter.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">The woman on that court show truly couldn't take the time to enjoy the nice way her husband treated her because she was in a constant state of "this is too good to be true" and it caused her to mess up something that seemed good.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">As humans we can be locked into a certain mindset that relationships are suppose to look and feel like all the other relationships we have had. As if relationships are all wrapped in the same packaging and this kind of thinking can lead to us sabotaging or not even considering a person that could be good for us.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Just my opinion.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">*I would like to take this time to apologize for not posting yesterday, but better late than never.</span><br />
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<span style="color: red; font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">HAPPY EARLY VALENTINE'S DAY!!!</span><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Thanks for reading!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">(John 3:16)</span><br />
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<br />Rachel Jo.http://www.blogger.com/profile/05368383604148163441noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7589800916229843833.post-28255877234919655552017-02-05T15:23:00.002-05:002017-11-10T10:53:37.770-05:00Just Like Home<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">There was a guy that I was friends with and knew for many years. After graduating from our separate colleges, we started to hang out as friends and nothing more. At one point we went more than five years without communicating with one another, not because we had a falling out, but because were living our separate lives. A few months ago, we reconnected and started to hang out again, but this time it was different because he confessed that he wanted to date me. I wasn't interested in dating him and only saw him as a friend.</span> </div>
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">We had a few little disagreements in the past, but this time we were really having arguments. One night before him and I met up I noticed that mentally I was making a list of topics not to discuss or hope wouldn't come up through the course of our evening. No hot button items that could quickly turn our nice evening into raised voices in public and result in me storming out of an establishment (which happened twice).</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">That guy and I no longer speak because this time we did have a falling out. Although, I did not want a romantic relationship that experience gave me a peek into what a relationship would have been like with him if something other than a friendship would have been pursued. I wouldn't have liked it. I cannot be for certain, but I'm sure more arguments would have ensued and things probably would have ended quickly. However, that experience did make me think about the type of relationship that I do want. The simple fact that I had to make mental notes of what not to say before starting an evening with him was a clue that, that was not the relationship for me.</span> <br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">I want the type of relationship that makes me feel just like home. You know, how in your home you are carefree in your habits and have those little idiosyncrasies that should only be done at home, but you enjoy. That is what I want in a relationship. I want to be able to express who I am with someone and not feel like I have to hold back my opinion for fear of an argument or their discomfort with me having a different viewpoint. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Of course, relationships are going to have its ups and downs, peaks and valleys, hugs and arguments, but I feel like the good should always outweigh the bad. If a person is in a serious, committed relationship and there is a reversal as in, the bad outweighs the good and one partner is walking on eggshells then maybe it is time to reevaluate the relationship and a person must do what is best for them.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">A relationship should be a safe haven for two people to feel comfortable. When I was younger I never thought about things such as this and maybe you have never considered the idea either. However, a relationship that feels like I can just be myself and the man be himself is the type of relationship that I aspire to have one day...soon, perhaps.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Thanks for reading!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">(John 3:16)</span><br />
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<br />Rachel Jo.http://www.blogger.com/profile/05368383604148163441noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7589800916229843833.post-55677111152692064932017-01-29T14:50:00.000-05:002017-11-10T10:51:45.631-05:00Working On Consistency<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Last week one of my 2017 goals faltered a bit. Before the new year, I made several goals and one of them is to post to my blog once a week every Sunday. Well, last week I missed posting. I wish I could say that I was wrapped up doing something exciting like I've found a new love or off exploring exotic lands, but nope, I was at home struggling with something to write. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Sure, I had written content, but I didn't feel good about anything that I had written nor was I ready to post any of it. Some of my written drafts are incomplete ideas or just plain unfinished. I did not want to post just anything especially if I didn't feel good about what I had written. It would have been a disservice to the readers who not only take the time to read my blog, but also share my blog on their social media timeline. Quality over quantity.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Perhaps I am being over dramatic, but I am very hard on myself and at times my very own worst critic. I am the first person to admit to my own foibles . So, when it became clear that I wouldn't be posting, because I have a particular time that I like to post by, I felt like a failure.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">I was starting to show inconsistency. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">People always say that when it comes to relationships </span><em><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">communication is key</span></em><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"> and I agree, however there must be consistency as well. If the communication is not constant then things can fall to pieces and undoubtedly leave someone or both parties involved in limbo. Truthfully, to be successful at anything there has to be a certain level of consistency. When it comes to romantic relationships consistency displays two things: relevance and interest.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">If I meet a man and he consistently sends me good morning, how are you, call me, good night, etc. -- text messages or when we talk on the phone he is consistently telling me how he feels about me and consistently making an effort to spend time with me, this is him repeatedly displaying to me my relevance to him and his interest in me. When I reciprocate those same actions I am showing him, his relevance to me and my interest in him.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">I cannot say in every instance one hundred percent that because a person is performing the action of consistent communication that they are showing that another person is relevant to them or that their interest in that person is genuine. Typically people do not take the time to consistently communicate with someone that has no relevance to their lives or they have no real interest in. However, there are some crafty human beings among us who will slither into a persons life with false intentions. I hope that none of you encounter these people or become one of those people.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">So, I am going to continue to work on my consistency with writing and posting to this blog and who knows, perhaps this consistency will trickle over into a love life.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Thanks for reading!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">(John 3:16)</span>Rachel Jo.http://www.blogger.com/profile/05368383604148163441noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7589800916229843833.post-66302182448931136142017-01-15T13:50:00.000-05:002017-11-10T10:26:06.725-05:00No Turning Back<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">One day I overheard a man and a woman having a conversation about romantic relationships. The woman was talking about a past situation with an ex-boyfriend. The man asked the woman, that if it were possible to go back in time would she have stayed and did things differently within her past relationship. After a few minutes of deliberation the woman said, yes. As the conversation ended I posed that same question to myself.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">If I could control time would I go back to my last relationship and do things differently? I mulled over that question in my mind repeatedly throughout my day and analyzed it from every possible angle. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">After a while I finally reached an answer. The answer is no. My now ex-boyfriend and I seemed like a shoo-in for marriage material when we were a couple because we knew each other for years, were best friends long before we decided to be in a relationship and had immense trust in one another. Those are qualities that many other relationships sorely lack. Regardless, the break up happened for a reason. Even if it were possible for me to reverse time and do things differently I believe the end result would ultimately be the same.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">I know that I may sometimes come across as whining and complaining about being single, but I have grown so much in my short single years. I took the absence of a relationship to learn about myself, sometimes the hard way, but overall I've grown. I not only have grown as a person, but my relationship with Jesus Christ has been strengthened as well.</span> <br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">When my last relationship ended I felt like a foreigner in a new land. Dating had completely changed and through living and learning I slowly started to make my way through the unfamiliar territory. I met new people and sometimes it was an arduous task getting to know someone because I didn't always automatically connect with people. I have met some good men, but things just didn't work out between us and I've also met some jerks as well, but that is inevitable when on a search for love.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">I'm not going to lie, on those few and far between days when the singleness seems like it will never end I think about the </span><em><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">what</span></em><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"> </span><em><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">ifs</span></em><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"> regarding my ex-boyfriend -- </span><em><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">what if</span></em><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"> we would have stayed together, </span><em><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">what if</span></em><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"> things were going to progress but we ended too soon, or </span><em><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">what if</span></em><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"> he was the man I was suppose to marry and now I risk never getting married at all.</span> <br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">All of those thoughts fill my mind for mere seconds and instantly after they pass I think to myself, would I be happy? Granted, I would not be single, I would be in a relationship and in love, but would I be happy? I can only project and I choose not to do that.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Life is about forward movement and I believe that although we should know our past to nourish our future those that dwell in the past, have no future to look forward to. In the words of the fictional character, Frank Underwood, forward is the battle cry. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Thanks for reading!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">(John 3:16)</span><br />
<br />Rachel Jo.http://www.blogger.com/profile/05368383604148163441noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7589800916229843833.post-40093397927127228072017-01-08T14:11:00.000-05:002017-11-10T10:24:24.825-05:00The Feeling of Peace<br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">I've experienced the feeling of peace on many occasions, but I want to write about this one time in particular. In our day-to-day lives we don't really think about peace until chaos begins to overwhelm us. Peace is one of those things that you don't realize is missing until it is gone.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Last summer, I was on a plane and one thing you should know about me is I do not like to fly. I do not necessarily have a </span><em><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">fear of flying</span></em><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"> but I think about all the things that can go wrong that could have me possibly plummeting to the ground. The only reason I do fly is because it is a fastest mode of transportation. I suspect the reason for such awful thoughts is because I do not fly often and therefore have not developed a level of comfort with flying.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Usually minutes into a flight I become content with my temporary environment and I take my journal onboard in the hope that writing will distract me. Nonetheless during this particular flight, the plane was already in the air and the turbulence started. Normally when this happens I can just close my eyes and say to myself repeatedly "I'm in a car, I'm in a car, I'm in a car" because that's what being on a plane feels like to me with my eyes closed. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">However, this time that was not calming me down. I began to pray and almost immediately peace rushed over me. I had no more anxiety.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">I remember thinking that maybe something tragic was about to happen and God was preparing me to meet my fate, but even that thought couldn't shatter my peaceful state. Fortunately, nothing happened and I reached my destination safely. What does peace exactly feel like? I believe that peace can manifest itself in many different ways and therefore is different based on person and situation.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">You know how during a thunderstorm the rain is falling heavily and it's dark and the wind is tossing and turning the Earth, then all of a sudden it all stops and the sun comes out and everything is quiet. That is the best way I can describe how peace felt to me on that day. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">This seems like such a random topic to discuss, but perhaps this will help someone that comes across this post. No matter how chaotic a persons life may be as long as they are living, peace can always be obtained. Don't ever forget that.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Thanks for reading!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">(John 3:16)</span>Rachel Jo.http://www.blogger.com/profile/05368383604148163441noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7589800916229843833.post-6343750921946348082017-01-01T13:52:00.000-05:002017-11-10T10:17:09.274-05:00Don't Want To Be Untitled<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">When a man tells me that he doesn't like titles, I take that as my cue to run NOT walk to the nearest exit. I like titles. Titles can keep the interaction between persons organized and free from confusion. There is no guessing game as to whether we are dating moving toward a girlfriend/boyfriend status (although very soon I will erase those terms from my vocabulary) or we are simply just friends. Without a title, a relationship is like grass blowing in the wind going in no certain direction or way.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">I don't absolutely need a title especially just for the sake of having one, but I do need to know how my time and energy is being spent. There is nothing worse than getting emotions involved and entangled with a person only later to discover that the romance you thought was real was merely a friendship. If the guy and I are just friends, hanging out then that means that we are not exclusive to one another and free to pursue romantic opportunities if they should come along.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhU3m6mKFoZewubT2VLSfciEQOafT7Cz7BgIWUoQYHwOZiUlUR-uNxXrZNBSnhAPELAzr3xA2xcC0RevYaMcoZnaCSW6_4i31RhYvNCRrj_QEOVTddeaGUWRL-q-VsnIYMuB-uSZFX685Y/s1600/FullSizeRender.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhU3m6mKFoZewubT2VLSfciEQOafT7Cz7BgIWUoQYHwOZiUlUR-uNxXrZNBSnhAPELAzr3xA2xcC0RevYaMcoZnaCSW6_4i31RhYvNCRrj_QEOVTddeaGUWRL-q-VsnIYMuB-uSZFX685Y/s1600/FullSizeRender.jpg" /></a><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Sometimes I think that people suggest having no title because it makes it easier when it is time to breakaway from the other person. A person can claim that</span><em><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"> things were never exclusive and blah, blah, blah</span></em><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"> or the dreaded </span><em><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">you knew what this was</span></em><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"> comment. Some people use the no title option just as a guise to use someone physically, emotionally, for companionship or any other host of reasons. Which I must say is despicable.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">I am not suggesting that just because two people decide to place a title on their relationship it ensures stability and longevity. That simply is not true. It is the work and commitment of the two parties involved that makes the relationship long lasting.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">If you are a person involved with someone and you all are untitled and your relationship is working then good for you. Everyone is different and their relationships and expectations are different. There is no cookie cutter way that a relationship should be. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">As for me when I do start to become involved with a man again I don't want to be untitled. I want a man to claim me and I do not mean that in a controlling, overbearing, borderline abusive way, but I want a man to say, Rachel, yeah that's my lady.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">I never thought about titles before because in previous "relationships" it was implied, but in today's ever changing society a woman like me needs to know the details. Maybe someone reading this never considered the thought either and perhaps it's something to think about in 2017. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: x-large;">Happy New Year!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Thanks for reading!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">(John 3:16)</span><br />
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Rachel Jo.http://www.blogger.com/profile/05368383604148163441noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7589800916229843833.post-42654046209346002742016-11-27T14:14:00.000-05:002017-12-15T19:26:27.856-05:00Writing and Love<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Over a few weeks I started to ponder as to whether I should continue with writing and stop being patient with love altogether. I know that I have written in past post to be patient and wait for love and I still agree with that idea, but I am human and at times my emotions can get the best of me. I become discouraged and impatient. I start to feel like things are not working in my favor in a swift enough pace or on the occasion that I do meet someone I begin to think that I have found what I've been waiting for but when that prospect becomes dim it is enough to make a person want to abandon ship.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Most evenings when I would get home from work, after changing my clothes and freshening up, one of the first things I would do is turn my computer on. Even if I did not physically write anything in particular writing was always at the forefront of my mind. Within the past few weeks it got to the point where after a week I noticed that I hadn't turned my computer on at all. I was hardly doing any writing and if you are a frequent visitor to this blog you may have noticed that I haven't posted any new content for almost a month. After a couple weeks I started to feel like maybe writing or being a writer was no longer an option for me. I started to think that maybe writing was just something that I was good at for a moment, but not realistically in my professional future. </span><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"></span></strong><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">As far as love and relationships, I received the "let's just be friends" text and that contributed to my crestfallen mood. During this time I just did not have the motivation to write and I was not going to force my feelings or my writing. Looking back on those past weeks I wish I could have stayed motivated and it was silly for me to feel so dejected in the first place.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">I knew I didn't want to give up on neither love or writing because the prospect of one day having love stayed on my mind. In that regard, a new man has entered my life and is actively showing an interest in me. We have not been dating, but we have been hanging out and we communicate with each other almost daily. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">When I did eventually start trying to write again it would seem that all the words and concepts were absent from my mind. Wanting to write, but only having a blank screen was frustrating. In feeling that emotion I knew that writing was something I still cared about and want to pursue because otherwise why get upset about something that doesn't matter.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Everything is a blessing and perhaps this is just my testimony for someone else. Yes, I felt sad and dispirited, but I didn't allow myself to remain in that condition. Just because the edge of a cliff is placed before us, does not mean that we must jump. Any and everything can be turned around for the positive.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Thanks for reading!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">(John 3:16)</span>Rachel Jo.http://www.blogger.com/profile/05368383604148163441noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7589800916229843833.post-91553260039309396532016-10-23T14:43:00.000-04:002017-12-15T19:24:12.641-05:00The Retraction<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Last Sunday, I wrote a post titled "Silent Goes The Text" in which I stated that I recently met a man and we were hanging out and even went on a date. Then all of a sudden he up and stopped communicating with me. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">That Sunday night as I prepared to go to sleep the gentleman, that I wrote about [in the blog post], sent me a text message. I coldly replied that he should read my latest blog post and I didn't hear from him again until a couple days later. I received a phone call from him one evening and at first I was hesitant to answer, but I did. We exchanged a hello and hey and by the cheerless tone of his voice I could tell that he had read my blog and he had. There was a brief awkward silence, then he began to tell me what prevented him from contacting me. With each word he spoke I immediately felt regret about what I had written for the world to see.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">I made him out to be the villain and lumped him into the same category as every other man that has wronged me. Instead of being a level headed person showing concern for not hearing from him I went to the extreme thinking that he purposely ignored me. I didn't even give him a chance.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">And for that </span><strong><u><span style="color: red; font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">I AM SORRY</span></u></strong><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">The more I think about this situation it is more telling of me and my mindset. This was a slight complication and I automatically started trying to purge the man from my life, while also harboring within the very dangerous notion that </span><em><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">all men are the same</span></em><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">I have had my issues with men that attributed to my wrong assumption and the fact that I have only known him a short while, so trust is not fully developed. Nonetheless, I had a misguided notion and I was wrong to send it blaring across the waves of the Internet. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">There will be plenty of times throughout the course of my life where I will feel sad or disappointed so while I can, I am going to feel happy. I am going to like him and allow him to like me romantically in return for however long it last.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">If you are wondering the guy and I have resumed communicating daily and of course, I will keep you posted on any future developments.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Thanks for reading!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">(John 3:16)</span>Rachel Jo.http://www.blogger.com/profile/05368383604148163441noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7589800916229843833.post-9958632582128695862016-10-16T15:44:00.000-04:002017-12-15T19:20:02.890-05:00Silent Goes The Text<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlbRDqNK91y9XGMKwzToazXSdS0uc0sNqCxvUtYYmRAAGKcnBVNA-NGFEyU4rndTc9FeHxhXT_7WsXRGAomeEpJMIdj0SnR0C7F3Nzf-Vp7XSqM6rgH1HgOH8CzTes63ZCRLL66qsLGUM/s1600/silent.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1068" data-original-width="1600" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlbRDqNK91y9XGMKwzToazXSdS0uc0sNqCxvUtYYmRAAGKcnBVNA-NGFEyU4rndTc9FeHxhXT_7WsXRGAomeEpJMIdj0SnR0C7F3Nzf-Vp7XSqM6rgH1HgOH8CzTes63ZCRLL66qsLGUM/s320/silent.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">I recently met a man who is a friend of a friend. The mutual friend is a woman that I went to college with and a few weeks ago she texted me asking if she could give my number to her friend that lives in Maryland. The guy she wanted to give my number to, I met a few months ago when we were all hanging out one night in D.C. Not giving it too much thought I told her that she could give him my number because I didn't really expect anything more than just a cordial text and maybe the occasional suggestion to meet up that most likely wouldn't occur. Come to find out I got more than that.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">The guy and I started texting each other daily, almost all day and there were the brief phone calls in which he would indicate that he just wanted to hear my laugh and I'm not going to lie I wanted to hear his voice as well. He is from London, so he has a British accent which is different for me. He is smart and equally as handsome and has a sweet personality. We eventually hung out a few times and even went on a date. I have my trust issues when it comes to men, but I believe that the protective barriers would eventually come down if him and I continued to interact.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Well, no matter how long something last it must all come to an end. A few days ago the guy told me that he would be going to Brazil. It all sort of came out of the blue, but I figured he was busy and it slipped his mind. Not knowing why he was going to Brazil I simply texted him "have fun" and I haven't heard from him since. I realize that him and I have only been communicating for weeks and if he had not been expressing</span><em><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"> that he likes me</span></em><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"> and </span><em><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">about dating me</span></em><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"> or sometimes in the middle of the day </span><em><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">sending kiss emojis</span></em><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"> </span><em><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">saying that he misses me</span></em><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"> or </span><em><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">thinking about me</span></em><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"> then I would not have given his lack of communication a second thought. It just perplexes me that he would say those things to me and when we were in each other's company treat me so sweetly, but now is going days without saying a word to me.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">The past couple of days I have gone through a few emotions, first anger, then I was feeling down and now I am at peace. I'm not worried because I believe that a blessing is going to come from all of this and in the meantime I am going to continue to stay prayerful because I know that God has everything covered.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Thanks for reading!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">(John 3:16)</span>Rachel Jo.http://www.blogger.com/profile/05368383604148163441noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7589800916229843833.post-84573175196584979312016-10-03T18:53:00.000-04:002017-12-15T18:59:26.382-05:00Just For The Heck Of It<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDikfCvNlmeK4JFXnsQw0B29K2ohVbdWqovp_qDLxzOAvpv0gFu0nqV2dKfDykgSHkI5RXlQXY0oIGRJD-VBTFrszsHPsc8VIt2pwnpll9CSmFPMrxj4B5Tafk3ieWbGTdEfO6ifdyQmc/s1600/heck.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="320" data-original-width="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDikfCvNlmeK4JFXnsQw0B29K2ohVbdWqovp_qDLxzOAvpv0gFu0nqV2dKfDykgSHkI5RXlQXY0oIGRJD-VBTFrszsHPsc8VIt2pwnpll9CSmFPMrxj4B5Tafk3ieWbGTdEfO6ifdyQmc/s1600/heck.JPG" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">You may notice that I don't post to my blog every week and some would consider that to be in poor taste of a would-be writer</span><em><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">. </span></em><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">I want to be taken seriously as a writer and I feel that it is my obligation to post content that is both honest and sincere. I don't like to force my writing, but instead have the words flow from my mind, into my fingertips and onto the screen in an organic manner. Sometimes I don't have the motivation to write and I am not going to post mediocre content that I am not satisfied with just to reach an invisible quota as a "good writer".</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">The same can be said for relationships. I was never a person that wanted to be involved with someone romantically just for the heck of being in a relationship. Ever since I was old enough that my parents allowed me to date, I never hopped from relationship to relationship just so I could brag that I had a boyfriend. For years I didn't realize it, but I was practicing quality over quantity when it came to my romantic life. If two people don't have a real connection with one another then there is no reason to waste time calling a future break up yet to come, a relationship.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Sometimes people can have a connection and a relationship is not a good fit for the pair. That is the dynamic and complexity of human involvement. People can force relationships and have flimsy connections, but I question how long they will genuinely last. Life is too short and love is too grand to be in a situation that is not up to the standards and level of respect that all people should require and deserve.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Just for the record I admire the bloggers and writers that I come in contact with that have the drive to post to their blogs weekly and in some cases daily. I am a work in progress and I promise you readers, I will get better. Thank you for your support.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Thanks for reading!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">(John 3:16)</span>Rachel Jo.http://www.blogger.com/profile/05368383604148163441noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7589800916229843833.post-57339575807130215642016-09-19T18:44:00.000-04:002017-12-13T05:01:16.688-05:00Are You Dining Alone?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguJ1QCWef2krfTfUMiNn-Z-9ygbXPSTjjGxgDZkrBKEwkK9Rhb96R4rRuRC0S4I58-6z2bgm2_A4YnIKkUDj379u-ysH4Dodf_PNkvBJPrlXRqBWGEsrGTAULCW8RLo3ZkOfZbIv-vpFc/s1600/5ed5dc_59b6f2e3e22b484085d670e0012c7332-mv2_d_4926_3233_s_4_2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1050" data-original-width="1600" height="210" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguJ1QCWef2krfTfUMiNn-Z-9ygbXPSTjjGxgDZkrBKEwkK9Rhb96R4rRuRC0S4I58-6z2bgm2_A4YnIKkUDj379u-ysH4Dodf_PNkvBJPrlXRqBWGEsrGTAULCW8RLo3ZkOfZbIv-vpFc/s320/5ed5dc_59b6f2e3e22b484085d670e0012c7332-mv2_d_4926_3233_s_4_2.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Photo Credit <a href="http://www.therefinedphoto.com/">The Refined Photo</a></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">This past Saturday, I woke up with the urge to just get out of the house. So, I ended up catching the first showing of a movie I wanted to see, that started a few minutes before noon. Yes, I go to the movies by myself. The theater is only a few blocks from where I live so when the movie ended, a little after two o'clock, I walked back home. I listened to some music to clear my mind and do some thinking.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">After I arrived home while laying in bed I still couldn't shake the urge to leave the walls of my home and be outside. The more I thought about what I could do I realized that I had a few extra dollars and that I hadn't taken myself out to dinner in a while. So, I decided to go to dinner that evening. I rested for a few hours and then prepared myself for a nice little solo evening out. I showered and put on a little black dress and a pair of wedge heels. I decided to dine at Ruth Chris Steak House (I am no cheap date).</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">I intended to have a table for one and work on some writing while people watching. However, the hostess informed me that there would be a bit of a wait time and not wanting to wait thirty minutes for a table I was pleasantly guided into the lounge area of the restaurant where I took a sit. I received a few stares from the male diners, but I paid them no mind.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">After about ten minutes or less of being seated and having ordered a cranberry and club soda I was getting settled into the environment around me. The gentleman seated behind me approached me and asked if I was dining alone and I said yes. He made it known to me that he, too was eating alone and asked if he could join me at my table. And I also replied yes.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">I have no idea as to why I said yes. An impromptu decision, I guess. After introducing ourselves the awkward silence often shared between strangers began to linger, but didn't last long. We talked about where we were from, our reason for being out that evening and we eventually switched gears to the presidential campaigns and politics and then settled on talking about love and relationships. I shared with him that I write a blog regarding the matter.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">He asked me what I thought about soul mates and if I thought they were real and he also asked me how a person should deal with a relationship where one person is being difficult or unreliable. It was thought provoking dialogue for both of us. He even asked me what "love looked like" to me, which caused me to pause for a moment because I had never thought about that before. It also gave me an idea for a future blog post.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">We both enjoyed our delicious meals, good conversation, but eventually it was time to depart. We paid our separate checks and left the restaurant separately to continue with our individual night ahead.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Nothing more, nothing less.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Thanks for reading!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">(John 3:16)</span><br />
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Rachel Jo.http://www.blogger.com/profile/05368383604148163441noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7589800916229843833.post-88494582138932384502016-09-12T18:16:00.000-04:002017-12-15T18:55:25.286-05:00Chicken<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEioJwdgG7Y42S-x5hFs-IrgrAx6UURSwsi9aqGw5USHU0NiGOkGTkIhCrgeUW9mrO5QURwqBviO_4GoLgKkFugL50_xxwtAy1kubz_BpNqAK9mzei5Q2mKXJz8pKhAoQ7KgIaAmJONmqz4/s1600/IMG_0601.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1350" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEioJwdgG7Y42S-x5hFs-IrgrAx6UURSwsi9aqGw5USHU0NiGOkGTkIhCrgeUW9mrO5QURwqBviO_4GoLgKkFugL50_xxwtAy1kubz_BpNqAK9mzei5Q2mKXJz8pKhAoQ7KgIaAmJONmqz4/s320/IMG_0601.jpg" width="269" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Photo Credit The Female Quixote Studio | <a href="http://www.tfqstudio.com/">www.TFQstudio.com</a></span></div>
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<a name='more'></a><br /><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">It was just a normal evening and I was making my way from work to home. I was at the WMATA Metro station on the down escalator when I noticed a man a few steps ahead of me. His body frame and a dark spot at the nape of his neck is what caught my attention. I wondered to myself as to whether his face was just as attractive as everything else. So, when the escalator reached the bottom, I maneuvered through the crowd of commuters to get a glimpse of this gentleman's face. I go through the faregate and onto the platform and there he is. I walk by him and glance up and yes, he was cute. However, I simply shrugged it off as one of those random times when we encounter someone really attractive, similar to finding paper money on the ground.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">About a day or so later, one morning, I was at Starbucks waiting for either a venti very berry hibiscus or green tea lemonade (I can't remember) and there he was, the attractive man from the escalator. He was waiting for his caffeinated drink. I started formulating in my mind what I should say to him or if I should even approach him at all, but nothing was coming to mind.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">The reason I couldn't find anything to say is because I am accustom to men approaching me first and not the other way around. Therefore I am more prepared for the follow up instead of initiating.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">So, my beverage arrives a split second after his and by the time I make it out the door and onto the street, to see what direction he went in to possibly catch up to him he was out of sight. From that moment on I started creating in my mind an entire introductory conversation him and I would have because I was determined that the next time I saw him I was going to walk up to him and ask him out on a date or at least tell him my name and get his in return.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Well, the days came and went. In the mornings when I would go to that particular Starbucks I would hope that it would be the day I see him and I thought the same as I walked to the Metro in the evenings, but nope. All the while in my mind I was encouraging myself and waiting with anticipation, but over time my hope started to dwindle.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Then, it happened, about three weeks after I saw him that morning in Starbucks. I was on my way home one evening from work, I was approaching the down escalator to enter the Metro station and there he was, we almost crossed paths but he was a few steps ahead of me. He walked down the escalator and I did the same. I was determined to talk to him, but I was also nervous. Thoughts of "</span><em><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">What if he rejects me?</span></em><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">" or "</span><em><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">What if I get embarrassed</span></em><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">?" started to fill my mind. He goes through the faregate and I attempt to do the same, but there isn't enough money on my Smartrip card so I have to go to the machine to add fare. I could hear the train pull into the station beneath me and in my head I start to chastise myself for not having loaded money onto my card that morning. Feeling dispirited that I missed my opportunity I add money to my card and catch the escalator down to wait for my train on the platform.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">However, to my surprise there he was, the man I had been wanting to see and introduce myself to was standing there on the platform with his face in his phone. Here was my chance, but instead of being the daring, brave person that I had pumped myself up to be in my head I simply walked by him and admired him from a distance. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">I was too chicken to go up to him. I found the whole situation quite amusing and on the inside I was laughing all the way home with a smile on my face.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Thanks for reading!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">(John 3:16)</span>Rachel Jo.http://www.blogger.com/profile/05368383604148163441noreply@blogger.com0