Something About Purpose

Photo Credit: Unsplash.com - Autumn Goodman

I hate that we have to keep meeting like this.  My inconsistent, on again, off again relationship with writing shining through like Rudolph's nose in fog.  I long to do better and be the dynamic writer that I know I am, but I have been feeling a lack of motivation, laziness and sense of unimportance with my writing. I play volleyball in my mind whether to give up on writing or push through my discouragement.  I always end up right back here though and even when I'm not physically writing it's on my mind.  I don't know if this is me fighting fate or just a toxic relationship.

For the past year I have been thinking about purpose.  I wonder what my purpose is as a wife, mother, at my job and life in general.  I pray for God to reveal this to me and I hope to stay out of my own way.

What do I mean?

God will sometimes send a clear message and directions, but because it doesn't come dressed the way we have cultivated in our minds we dismiss it.  I hope to avoid this.  I hope to be blessed with that one thing or many things that will have me moving in the right direction. 

The only purpose that use to be clear to me is why I started this blog.  I was obsessed with the idea of love, relationships and marriage.  I wanted to share my thoughts, experiences and occasional experiments with other people that may or may not have felt the same as me.  Now that I have these things I question and doubt even my purpose for this blog now.  I wonder what direction I can go in, if any direction at all.  Of course, the mind so easily sets the negative thoughts on repeat while I have to muster up positive thinking.

However, here I am attempting another jump start.  I don't know where I am going with this blog, my writing or my purpose in life, but I just would like to THANK EVERYONE THAT TAKES THE TIME TO READ THIS BLOG AND LEAVE COMMENTS.

Come along with me.

Thanks for reading!
(John 3:16)