Disappointment

I met someone a couple of months ago and everything started off good.  We would hang out, talk on the phone almost every night and sometimes in the mornings too.  Then talking on the phone in the morning turned into a good morning text message which I still found to be a nice gesture. 

Over time I started to notice that the phone calls at night gradually disappeared and the almost every morning text messages became non-existent.  So, I decided to cut him off and although this is going to sound petty and juvenile...if he wasn't going to text me then I wasn't going to text him.  I started to feel like he wanted me to chase him and that is something that I simply do not do.

So, in my process of cutting him off I started to feel something in my chest similar to a gut feeling.  In speaking with an acquaintance about my situation I figured out what that feeling was...disappointment. 

As people sometimes when we romantically like an individual we will make up in our minds who we want them to be or how we want them to act towards us and for me I did that with this person.  In my mind I wanted him to do certain things or say certain things and even though we are not on speaking terms anymore I still wouldn't mind an out the blue text or call from him just to see if he still cares.  I have come to the conclusion that either I was too different from other women he has been involved with and he doesn't know how to act towards me or he wanted to see if he could play me.

Disappointment is defined as the feeling of sadness or displeasure caused by the nonfulfillment of one's hopes or expectations.  I'm not disappointed necessarily that we didn't work out.  My disappointment is that I thought he was a good guy and in my mind I built this fantasy of him and it was all wrong.  I should have taken him at face value.

A lesson learned.

Thanks for reading!
(John 3:16)