No Turning Back

One day I overheard a man and a woman having a conversation about romantic relationships.  The woman was talking about a past situation with an ex-boyfriend.  The man asked the woman, that if it were possible to go back in time would she have stayed and did things differently within her past relationship.  After a few minutes of deliberation the woman said, yes.  As the conversation ended I posed that same question to myself.

If I could control time would I go back to my last relationship and do things differently?  I mulled  over that question in my mind repeatedly throughout my day and analyzed it from every possible angle. 

After a while I finally reached an answer.  The answer is no.  My now ex-boyfriend and I seemed like a shoo-in for marriage material when we were a couple because we knew each other for years, were best friends long before we decided to be in a relationship and had immense trust in one another.  Those are qualities that many other relationships sorely lack.  Regardless, the break up happened for a reason.  Even if it were possible for me to reverse time and do things differently I believe the end result would ultimately be the same.

I know that I may sometimes come across as whining and complaining about being single, but I have grown so much in my short single years.  I took the absence of a relationship to learn about myself, sometimes the hard way, but overall I've grown.  I not only have grown as a person, but my relationship with Jesus Christ has been strengthened as well. 

When my last relationship ended I felt like a foreigner in a new land.  Dating had completely changed and through living and learning I slowly started to make my way through the unfamiliar territory.  I met new people and sometimes it was an arduous task getting to know someone because I didn't always automatically connect with people.  I have met some good men, but things just didn't work out between us and I've also met some jerks as well, but that is inevitable when on a search for love.

I'm not going to lie, on those few and far between days when the singleness seems like it will never end I think about the what ifs regarding my ex-boyfriend -- what if we would have stayed together, what if things were going to progress but we ended too soon, or what if he was the man I was suppose to marry and now I risk never getting married at all. 

All of those thoughts fill my mind for mere seconds and instantly after they pass I think to myself, would I be happy?  Granted, I would not be single, I would be in a relationship and in love, but would I be happy?  I can only project and I choose not to do that.

Life is about forward movement and I believe that although we should know our past to nourish our future those that dwell in the past, have no future to look forward to.  In the words of the fictional character, Frank Underwood, forward is the battle cry. 

Thanks for reading!
(John 3:16)