Friday, April 23, 2010

Long Distance Relationships

I was once asked to do a blog about long distance relationships and so here it is: I was once in a long distance relationship back when my love was fresh and new. I wasn't a full adult so I hadn't yet established what it is I wanted or needed out of a relationship. Just like all 18-year-old's I thought I knew everything and that everything would be simple.
I knew I would definitely miss my then boyfriend and first love, but I planned in my head the times we would see each other so it made things easier for me. But before I get to ahead of myself I need to take things back a bit.
My first love and I went off to different colleges. He was in North Carolina and I was in South Carolina. We would talk on the phone, text and occasionally chat over the Internet. We both had the same schedule when it came to school sanctioned breaks so when we got home to D.C. we would spend as much time as possible with each other. Christmas break was my favorite time cause me and him got the chance to hang out for basically a whole month. But I knew after Christmas I wouldn't get to see him again for another two months.
For me that wasn't good enough I wanted to be able to see him all the time not just talk on the phone or text. Our long distance relationship basically lasted a year and a half until things fell apart. The break up didn't really have much to do with the distance but more so us growing apart.
I grew to learn that I'm not the type of woman that would ever want to have a long distance relationship again. I like having a man near so we can hang out or just when I want to see him it's no problem.
Long distance relationships are tricky and require vast amount of trust. As I have learned recently no one wants to be constantly accused of cheating. It will only make the flower of love wilt and die.
Long distance relationships can be successful, but the right two people have to be together and have to be willing to put in the amount of time that is required to make the relationship work. I think about our men and women serving in the military that have been deployed to overseas duty while they have their special someone left in the United States.
Long distance relationships can succeed, but are you willing to put in the work?
Thanks for reading!
(John 3:16)

Monday, March 15, 2010

Are you a Carrie?

One of my favorite television shows is Sex And The City. Now I couldn't watch it when it originally aired because I didn't have HBO, but now I buy the seasons on DVD and watch the re-runs on TBS. I can honestly say I've seen every episode at least 4 times. I saw the first movie and can't wait for the second installment to hit theaters this summer. Its the ultimate show of a journey to love and great fashion, too.

Whenever I watch the show I always wonder what character am I. Am I a Carrie, a woman who is level headed, but always seems to get sidetracked by Mr. Big. Or am I a Samantha, a woman that is extremely promiscuous and has the attitude of a man when it comes to sexual matters. Or am I a Miranda, a woman that has been hurt by men and pushes away and mistreats the only man that she truly loves, but is crippled by fear to commit. Then there's Charlotte the hopeful romantic who converted religions just to be with the man she loved.

Now I don't mind being a Carrie or even a Samantha, but I do not want to be a Charlotte or a Miranda, but sadly I think all women are a Miranda and a Charlotte. It's just this little part of us that has been hurt in the past and causes us to push away someone that may be good for us, a Miranda. There is also this part of us that is hopeful that our prince charming is right around the corner regardless of the bad relationships of our past, a Charlotte.

Now some of us women are self proclaimed Carrie's and Samantha's. It's this one man in your past that you still think about and although you've moved on to new relationships you know that if he stepped back in your life tomorrow you would be with him, a Carrie. I must admit it's not socially acceptable to label yourself a Samantha because you may get the "she's a hoe look". I've never viewed the character Samantha like that. In my eyes she was a woman that just wanted to have fun. Ladies, don't we just want to have fun sometimes?

I think all women embodies a little something from each character. Some traits may be more dominant than others. I don't want anyone to be upset about what I said about any of the characters. This is my opinion and my view of them.

As for which character I am. I'm not telling just yet.

Thanks for reading!
(John 3:16)

Saturday, March 6, 2010

Love and LUST

*Lust- (noun) intense sexual desire or appetite. uncontrolled or illicit sexual desire or craving.
*Love- (noun) a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person. a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection. sexual passion or desire.

Often times when we get into relationships or before we get into them things transpire and we start to develop feelings for a person and most of us take those feelings to be love. So we'll say to that significant other "I love you" when really we should say to that person "I LUST you".

I wanted to define both love and lust so that you all would know the difference if you didn't already. Some people don't know the difference and think that love and lust are one in the same. Lust is wanting someone for sexual purposes only and it doesn't require having feelings for someone, whereas love is about having a deeper connection with someone which builds over time.

We have all lusted before and lust is tricky because it can show up as love but its not. Also sometimes a person can get caught up in wanting to love someone so bad or wanting that person to love them back that before you know it, it has all turned to lust. Then feelings get jumbled and it ends up being a mess.

So if your truly looking for love then before you get into another relationship think to yourself, could I see myself 5 years from now with this person or could I just see myself with this person 5 days. However way you answer you'll know if you have love or lust.

Thanks for reading!
(John 3:16)

Friday, February 12, 2010

Movie Lover


For most people a certain song played on the radio or shuffled in their iPod brings back the memory of a lost love and a time when they were happy with that special someone and for some a certain place such as a restaurant, park bench, or street can bring back feelings. But for me none of that tends to bring back too many memories for me but, I LOVE MOVIES and therefore have been on numerous dates to the movies.

This may sound crazy but now when I watch certain movies that I once enjoyed watching with a boyfriend I can remember how I felt when I first saw it with him. I can remember if I was feeling nervous or anxious or just so into seeing this particular movie that nervousness and anxiousness were the farthest things from my mind.

I remember the very first movie I saw on a date. It was with my first boyfriend and first love. The movie was Daredevil with Ben Affleck. My first boyfriend actually kissed me during the movie and I use to could remember exactly which part when he kissed me, but my memory is hazy now. I don't watch that movie now (I think its stupid) but if I did I'm sure I would be able to go back in my memory to that 17-year-old girl sitting in that dark theater who was a bundle of nerves and received a kiss from a boy who would turn out to mean more to her than she ever expected.

I've seen so many movies and watched so many DVDs with boyfriends that if I began to list them it would just go on and on, but I do have two more that I would like to talk about.

My very last boyfriend the first movie we saw together was Pineapple Express. A marijuana comedy that made me laugh a lot now invokes a different emotion in me. When I do watch that movie again probably the feeling I will have is one of conquest because I got over him when I thought I wouldn't. I thought he was "the one" but he turned out not to be. No hard feelings though we are cool to this day.

I have a friend that is near and dear to me and we have a favorite movie and we like to say its "our" movie. That movie is The Departed. I love that movie and only good memories and good feelings are resurrected whenever I watch it. I'll just leave it at that.

Sometimes I tend to think that I love movies so much that I think I will get that rosy, fairytale happy ending that comes at the end of most movies. Where the good looking man comes and sweeps the gorgeous woman off her feet and they get married and its happily ever after. 

Then reality sets in and I know that life isn't like that. That movie is only 2 or 3 hours long and scenes are written, but life is 24 hours and can last almost 100 years and there is nothing written to direct the path you go down or who you will bump into.

Love in real life is a continual scene where you are the director so you are the only one that can yell, CUT THAT'S A WRAP.

Thanks for reading!
(John 3:16)