A wonderful and intelligent man thought that I was just too precious to get away so he made our relationship official. The interesting thing is in the almost three year time frame of my singleness I had developed certain habits unbeknownst to me and once discovered I couldn't continue them, being one half of a couple.
In this chapter I am going to write about one habit in particular.
About a month ago, a woman that I know was having a gathering to celebrate her birthday at a local lounge. Since the establishment was not far from my house I decided to walk and my new man would just drive and meet me there. Part of the reason for this decision was because parking can be a real nuisance in that part of the city and I didn't want to run the risk of being late. At that time my man and I had only been official for two days.
I was the first to arrive ahead of everyone and after walking into the dimly lit and noisy barroom I checked my phone for new messages and e-mails and then I did something so instinctive and unintentional. I did the look around.
You know, giving the room a quick scan to spot attractive people. When I was single I would walk in a bar, new job, local coffee shop, church, grocery store etc. and look around to see if there were any attractive men. I don't want to make an assumption or make a definite statement and say that everyone participates in doing the look around, but I am not the only one.
At that moment, standing in that lounge in mid glance a buzzer went off in my head and I told myself, Rachel you have a boyfriend now! That's when it occurred to me that I still had a singles habit and it had to go...immediately.
Somehow days later my man and I were conversing and the topic of looking at other people came up. I felt relieved because he caught himself somewhat doing the same thing I did at the lounge and we talked about it. We also laughed about it as well. I wasn't trying to be disloyal or disrespectful to my man or our relationship, but because the relationship was still fresh and I had no real understanding that this habit even existed I couldn't correct it beforehand. When you know better, you do better so the both of us have changed this about ourselves.
My man isn't overbearing or controlling or tells me the type of friends I should not have nor do I require of him to sever ties with any of his friendships even if they do happen to be with a female. However, what I do require of him, myself and for the sake of our relationship is to act accordingly and be respectful of one another. What I mean by act accordingly is neither one of us can continue to operate as if we are still single because we are not. We must change our mindset because it is no longer just our own personal feelings and emotions to take into account, but each others.
Starting a new relationship can also mean that certain freedoms become extinct which includes changing habits and maybe even detaching from certain people for the well-being of the relationship. These are the things that make relationships not only stronger, but successful. Although I had a brief blunder my man and I are over that. We are communicating openly and honestly and developing not just a romantic relationship but a friendship as well.
Stay tuned for Chapter 3...
Thanks for reading!